Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, if he gets angry, he’ll be
a mile away - and barefoot.
Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.
Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
A closed mouth gathers no feet.
Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.
Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.
Experience enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
It’s not what you know that counts - it’s what they think you know.
Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.
Be careful what you wish for - you might get it.
When you know you’re right, don’t let anyone try to confuse you with the facts.
Mythology: The body of a primitive people’s beliefs concerning its origin, early history,
heroes, deities and so forth, as distinguished from the true accounts which it invents later.
Science is what happens when preconception meets verification.
When all else fails, read the directions.
The plural of anecdote is data.
The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits.
Hain’t we got all the fools in town on our side? And hain’t that a big enough majority in
Good advice is something a man gives when he is too old to set a bad example.
A man begins cutting his wisdom teeth the first time he bites off more than he can chew.
A fanatic is one who can’t change his mind and won’t change the subject.